Being a young mother, i have witnessed quite a lot of judgement from others, who know nothing about me. Everything from rude glares, to smart comments, and very personal questions. If you know me as most of you who read this do, it comes as no surprise that i am quite witty and usually have something smart to say back. That being said sometimes i just can NOT believe what comes out of peoples mouths.
The reason i bring this up is today i was shopping at walmart for spring clothes for Emmie, the temp here in Cleveland has sky rocketed and it has been in the 80's almost everyday for the past 2 weeks, and most of emmies clothes from last summer just dont fit.
So today, while out shopping with Emery and my dad, my dad and i seperated for a few minutes while i was looking at clothes with Emmie and he was looking for the sunscreen i needed. Emmie was kind of in a bad mood she hadn't napped and i had errands to run before her father came to get her so we went. Emmie was holding one of the shirts i was getting her and it kept slipping off the hanger and she would cry, and i would fix it, and this went on.... Well a woman walked by me, with her teenage daughter during this and looked at her daughter and said.. and i quote "I feel like im watching an episode of 16 & pregnant" I didn't really know wether to laugh or cry. So i looked at her and said "Excuse me!" and she just laughed and kept walking.
When my dad came back over i didn't even tell him, there was no point because he probably would have hunted the woman down and had quite a few not so nice things to say to her. Besides it isn't the first time something like that has been said to me. The crazy thing to me, this woman doesn't know me at all, she has no clue of my age, my relationship ..or even if i was just baby sitting. She knew NOTHING! All she saw was emmie crying over her shirt falling off of the hanger and me putting it back on and telling her to be more careful so her new shirt doesn't get dirty. How that screams episode of 16 & pregnant i'm not sure. So while I am already on a rant, i will share some other examples.
One time, while out with Emery shopping at babies r us in California a woman came over to gush over how cute Emery was. Being who i am i said aw thank you, then she asked if i had any more children to which i kindly replied, "Nope, she is my one and only for now" then she said "Well thats good, being a teen mother to one is hard enough, let alone more." Now maybe this woman was a teen mom and she was just trying to be sweet...but I was 21...she didn't ask my age, she had NO clue! I simply smiled and walked the other way.
Another time, When i was teaching sunday school at my old church i subbed in for the nursery class that Emery was in, normally i taught 3 year olds but it was my off week and the nursery for "waddlers and walkers" was short handed, so i offered to help. There was only one women in there that i had never worked with, and at first she didn't know Emery was my daughter. So at one point, Emery was playing with another little girl who was about the same age 18 or so months at the time, and This little girl stole the ball Emmie was playing with, and like any toddler would do, Emery pushed her down. I was busy tending to other kids and there was alot of help there so obviously i didn't respond. Also because as Emery's mom i wanted Emery to respect other adults. This woman (ugh i wish i rememberd her name) made some remark about how "Emery just didn't ever play well with others because she was obviously spoiled" to another helper..who knew i was Emery's mom.. and she kind of just stood there dumbfounded. I heard this and turned to the woman and said.. Yes my daughter IS SPOILED and YES she is an only child... But she isn't acting ANY different then any of these other toddlers do when one of the toys they are playing with gets taken away. She quickly apologized but then started asking me all these questions.. The one that got me the most was.. "Why did you want to have a child so young?" .... i don't quite remember what my answers were and i do remember the questions getting more probing.. and i also remember requesting to never work with her again.. which i didn't.. actually i never saw her again. I complained to our cordinator because i felt that she wasn't setting a very good "Christian" example especially for the young teens we had that often helped us. So maybe they decided to not let her work there...
My whole point for this blog is, to just make people think before they pass judgement. I know we all do we are only human. But maybe next time you see a mother struggling with her child.. say something like.. "oh man i've had those days" with a smile or, even help her out. Or get to know a person if you think they are struggling, maybe you could be a blessing to them. I wouldn't trade being a young mother for anything in the world. Emery was the best deciscion i ever made. I just hope that as she grows up she knows what a blessing she is to me, and i'll be sure to remind her every chance i get.
With all that being said, i am off to sleep!
1 comment:
Oh man, I would have LOST it on people if they talked to me like that. Living in UT (and ID) you see a lot of young moms. It's no big deal out here. It's considered weird to be 25 withOUT children haha! (I could tell you stories about THAT). Not to mention, you do look SUPER young, lucky you. So while they judge away, you're reaping the benefits of youthful skin! They can suck it. :)
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