what a week!

Blaine was here for a week...and it flew by, as it usually does. I hate saying bye to him even when i know its really only see you later...i always end up a sobbing mess! But we had an incredible week together and i have some awesome pictures.

We had alot of fun, Emery opened right up to blaine on thursday while i was at school He got to spend some quality one on one time with Emmie which was definitely needed and this is what happens while mom is away.

look at those smiles.

i think she loves him.

he sent me those pictures while i was at school..and i had to rush home and be with them..which i did!

They day i went to pick blaine up from the airport i had Emmie with me, while we were waiting for him another little girl was waiting for her grandma with her mom and little baby brother and had this adorable snow white barbie doll..Emmie fell in love and threw a fit over it while we waited...Luckily the little girl was willing to share but Emmie still insisted she get one.. So Blaine and I decided we would get her one, but we got her belle instead, and Blaine also bought her a new princess game for her leap pad...here was Em's reaction to her first ever barbie...

We also had a really fun time and took Emmie to the new Cleveland Aquarium and althought it was a BIT pricey, her smiles were worth it....the thing she wanted to see the most..."the hammer shark" as she called it...my favorite creature was this thing...

crazy right...

Blaine and i loved the touch tank i think we spent a good 45 minutes there alone...Emmie kept saying she wanted to touch too, but once a sting ray or shark got to close she would freak out..but she loved it.
She was so fascinated by all the different fish that she would run from one tank to the other tank ooohing and ahhing...we tried to keep up. She left with a cute little hammer head shark stuffed animal...and she has slept with it ever since.

We did a bunch of other fun stuff sooo bring on the pictures.!! here they are!

love

right before he left, but we were all smiles ;-)

she was having way to much fun.

I have a few more, but these are my favorites. It was amazing having him here...Now im going to attempt to go to sleep....

ecstatic

in just 2 hours i will be leaving to go pick up Blaine from the airport...my stomach has been doing flips all day and i could barely sleep last night!! This is nothing new though even when we both lived with our friends in cali when i would hear his truck coming home i would get excited..its always been that way.
When i went to visit him in november when i saw him waiting for me i got so light headed and excited i almost blacked out on the escalator haha.  I am seriously not exagerating, theres just something about him!

On to something else, yesterday i had to go to the doctor. I have seen the same doctor since i was like 13 - the few years i lived in cali. I also worked for her when i was 16. She is CRAZY..When i say crazy i literally mean it. She is romanian and about 45 years old and last time i saw her she looked like a 40 year old. Now ...She has bleach blonde hair has had a face lift and a boob job and yea...she looks good but still. I also saw her new sparkly bmw parked out front....Owning your own practice and being on the medical board of one of the most prestigious heart hospitals in the world (Cleveland Clinic) obviously has it's perks..
Now when i worked for her she treated me terribly which is why i quit..She called me the C word in front of an entire waiting room full of patients..and i responded by saying some not so nice things and walking out.. But the reason i still go to her is in 2007 she found my moms cancer...and saved my moms life.. thats one of those things that makes her worth it. She is a GREAT doctor. But yesterday i had to get blood drawn and a bunch of other things...now im nervous for the results of my thyroid panel....and i wont hear about it for probably a week.
When my mom had Lung cancer in 2007 she also found out she had Graves Disease. A thyroid disease and had to have her thyroid removed...after that she gained nearly 50 lbs because of the steroids she had to take to make up for the missing thyroid.. My brother and oldest sister also have thyroid problems..and since ive lost alot of weight recently and my anxiety has been terrible.. They think my thyroid is overactive.....ugh 
I got put on new medicine for my anxiety and obsessive compulsive tendencies...and heres to hoping they work....for the love of everything i hope they do!

But now i am off to go make myself look pretty so i can pick my gorgeous boy up from the airport..
I'll try not to pass out...but im not making any promises... I can't wait for Emmie to see him , she has been talking about him ALLLLLL day!!!
EEEK
 <3 Paula

23

I celebrated my 23rd birthday this past friday. It was sorta bittersweet. On one hand i can say i am very happy with where i am at at 23 on the other hand, theres just a lot of things i would have changed.. But coulda woulda shoulda's don't get you anywhere in my life...as my boyfriend would say..
"You can what if all day, but it doesn't change anything" ... I tend to dwell in the past alot..im not talking years in the past but even day to day...just oh wow i wish i would have done that/dealt with that this way..or what if i had done this instead...

I was downloading a bunch of music and one of my favorite bands is a Christian rock band called Safetysuit..there first cd was amazing filled with really powerful real life lyrics that nearly everyone can relate to, and there new cd came out so i knew i had to download it...and i came across this song with these lyrics

If you don’t believe in what you’ve got
It’s like you can’t see that you’re enough
He damaged you too many times
Now all you see are all the lies

You gotta believe in what you’ve got
You gotta believe in what you’ve got

If you gotta cry, then let it out
If you gotta scream, let me hear you shout
Cause you got a life, you’re letting go
See you’ve got a past, but I don’t know

The song is called Believe...and its pretty great.. There first cd is still my favorite but they have a one republic feel..

 

...and now im off to listen to some music and pass out..on another note just 3 days!!!

what do toddlers do at 11pm at night?

Well mine doesn't sleep... Lately at least. Tonight was pretty entertaining though..I laid Emery down for bed at around 8, i heard her up at 9:30 so i went in there, she had went potty and was complaining that she was hungry. So i brought her out for a snack then laid her back down..She was quiet for a while so i was catching up on my dvr'd shows. Then all of a sudden i hear stomping in her room and her babbling..so i peek around the corner and see her light on..So of course i walk in..and this is what i found...

she destroyed her room..almost every item of clothing was on the ground so were toys and bits of paper...How she managed to be this destructive and so quiet i have NO IDEA.. but i couldn't even be upset...i mean look at that face...Oh did i mention she changed herself out of her pj's into THAT outfit, headband, plastic heels and all.. Definitely can not be mad.. I convinced her to get back in bed..and after about 5 minutes she was passed out. She is seriously amazing..

On to other things, There is alot of great things about being in cosmetology school but the best would be how amazing change is, you can seriously make people look years younger, or even older and also accentuate features or diminish them just by cutting or coloring someones hair!.. And i love change when it comes to hair and fashion..I hate looking the same all the time..So i was searching for some inspiration and came across this picture of this girl with this deep violet hair...and i new i had to have it..So i did it today..it came out great however in regular light it just looks black but in sunlight it looks a gorgeous deep violet color..I took some pictures with my new phone and some of them came out pretty cool..Dark hair really makes my green eyes pop...so here they are!

I am very happy with the results..its so much fun to change your haircolor.

Then i took a silly classic duck face picture and lemme say..the duck face isn't flattering on me..but hey my eyes look pretty sweet.

oh man haha

on that note, im off to sleep!

In 12 days.....

In 12 days..Just 12 days i get to see ....................
My boyfriend! 

Words can not describe how excited i am, he has never been to Ohio so it will be fun, plus we live two completely different lifestyles....Im excited for him to finally meet my family after a year and a half and see where i grew up. And i am so excited for Emmie to see him. She asks about him alot and i know she loves and missed him..She hasn't seen him since last may and she has definitely changed a WHOLE lot so i can't wait to see how he reacts to her.  This isn't exactly a surprise to me that he is coming, we have been talking about it since i was last there in November, but we didn't know exactly when...we played around with a few ideas but the other night he emailed me the itenerary..i about peed myself... then started screaming with excitement... No, im not exagerating i literally screamed.  I turn 23 in a week and i could care less about that day..because my present comes on the 7th that is the best birthday present i could EVER ask for!!
I was really hoping to add a few cute pictures of us to this post...but I have a new phone and they were all on my old one which i haven't hooked up to my comp to take them off yet...So OH well.. I'll post some great ones after his visit..
and until then i will just keep myself busy with Emmie and school and try to contain my excitement..
ahh who am i kidding that's not possible!! Ah I love him, i am pretty lucky to have such a great guy. He knows just how to make me smile .
on that note.. Goodnight!

some news

2 weeks ago i put my 2 weeks notice in at davids for MANY reasons, The main reason being my unhapiness there.. I was being treated terribly there, I did go to HR and once i did my schedule went from about 30 hours a week magically down to 7 ... Supposedly for "No reason at all" .. So i talked to my family and friends and everyone agreed..time to go. I am honestly SO happy with my deciscion my anxiety has been not so bad and im getting more time with Emery. I know im going to have to find another job but im gonna give myself a week or 2 to just hang with my princess!..
In other news last sunday i did a wedding me and my friend from school dd the bridesmaids hair. It came out fabulously and i was really proud of myself It was a huge boost in confidence and really reassured me that i am in the right field.  So here are some pictures.. I didn't take as many as i would have liked and i forgot to take them after we put flowers in everyones hair but even still it looks good.

 Those were 2 of the 3 i did and i only got one girl with the flowers in.. But i gotta say it was so much fun and i made 30 dollars an hour.. Not bad for 3 hours work.


Can't wait to be doing this for a living!

croup...again

I have been sick the last few days...like can't move can't breathe sick and of course Emery got it too.... however every time Emmie gets sick it turns into something worse... Last night Emery started coughing....and i instantly heard the barking seal sound....So even though it was 2 am i shoved Emery into the car and took her into the ER....The doctor confirmed what i already knew...croup..so a steroid shot and breathing treatment later we were able to go home.. However, this isn't the first time Emmie has had croup..In fact..It's the third..She had it the first time 3 weeks after coming home from the Nicu..Then again last year when i was home visiting for my valentines day and my birthday..and again now. It really is one of the scariest sounds in the world... but she seems better now..soo ill just keep watching her for the next few days and hope she gets better...off to sleep.